You're Not Broken — Richie Landward on PTSD, Shame, and Learning to Love Your Fear
What if fear isn't the problem — it's the answer? In this profound and wide-ranging conversation, therapist, combat vet advocate, and former river guide Richie Landward joins the show to explore one of the most misunderstood forces in human psychology: fear. Richie brings over two decades of experience working with homeless veterans, PTSD survivors, and wounded warriors, and what he shares will completely reframe how you think about anxiety, trauma, and what it means to heal.
We open in the rapids of the Grand Canyon — literally — and use river guiding as a metaphor for how we move through life. From there, Richie introduces the ancient concept of Abhaya (non-fear from Thich Nhat Hanh), walks through a live mind-body bridging demonstration, and explains why PTSD is essentially your nervous system stuck in survival mode. We go deep on shame as the "backlight of fear," why people unconsciously choose suffering, how to let your kids struggle successfully, and what a near-death experience in Costa Rica taught Richie about the soul.
This episode is for anyone navigating anxiety, unprocessed trauma, emotional avoidance, or spiritual searching. Whether you're a parent, a veteran, a therapist, or just someone trying to stop being run by fear — this one will stay with you. Richie's closing words say it all: you are not broken, and love does not need to be fixed.
Follow the show for more conversations at the edge of mental health, resilience, and the human spirit. Leave a review if this episode moved you — it means everything.
Chapters:
[00:00:21] Welcome and Intro Banter
[00:00:53] The River as a Life Metaphor
[00:02:04] National Ability Center and Cataract Canyon
[00:03:20] Grand Canyon Trip Logistics
[00:06:18] Off the Tourist Trail
[00:08:31] Rapid Classifications and Lava Falls
[00:09:59] Chase Your Fear and Flow State
[00:11:27] Fear of Fear
[00:11:48] Introducing Abhaya: Non-Fear
[00:12:09] Chaos, Creation, and Death
[00:13:07] Chase Fear or Be Chased
[00:13:58] Fear as a Learning Tool
[00:14:25] The 4 Steps of Abhaya
[00:17:58] Fear and Love Are Inseparable
[00:20:22] Action as Fear's Answer
[00:21:20] Walking in Honesty
[00:22:18] Fear and Love Need Each Other
[00:23:11] Richie's Career Background
[00:23:58] Growing Up LDS in Utah
[00:25:40] Service Trip to Mexico
[00:26:37] LDS Mission to Holland
[00:27:28] Becoming a River Guide
[00:28:31] Recreation Therapy and Wounded Warriors
[00:29:50] Veteran Weeps After Skiing
[00:30:51] Path to the VA
[00:31:41] Vicarious Trauma Nearly Killed Him
[00:32:34] Meeting Trauma Therapy Leaders
[00:33:30] The Veteran Who Didn't Come Back
[00:35:05] "They're Not Broken"
[00:36:00] Exposure Therapy's Limits
[00:37:11] Mind-Body Bridging Explained
[00:40:56] Live Mind-Body Bridging Demo
[00:44:57] Finding Your Source
[00:46:09] Unconditional Love as a Father
[00:48:31] You Are Not Broken
[00:49:07] When Religion Captures Fear
[00:50:13] Shame as Fear's Backlight
[00:55:06] "Shame Is the Backlight of Fear"
[00:56:40] Why People Choose Suffering
[00:57:46] Peace Requires Effort
[00:59:14] Toggling Between Chaos and Peace
[01:02:13] Abhaya in Suffering
[01:02:22] Abhaya Is a Muscle
[01:06:26] Body, Mind, Source Framework
[01:07:30] Fear and Source in Conversation
[01:11:31] Parenting and Letting Kids Struggle
[01:13:52] Kahlil Gibran Read Aloud
[01:16:00] Resilience Is Something You Do
[01:18:49] Helping a Kid Process Loss
[01:20:25] Forgiving Yourself
[01:25:37] Learning and Growth Over Forgiveness
[01:26:38] Why Negative Memories Stick
[01:35:00] The Tree and Seed Analogy
[01:35:27] Where Does the Soul Go?
[01:36:10] Near-Death Experience in Costa Rica
[01:43:18] Costa Rica Near-Death, In Depth
[01:45:00] Sensing Those Who've Gone Before
[01:47:38] Built to Learn, Grow, Pass On
[01:53:34] Addiction as Fear Avoidance
[01:53:41] Zeus, Poseidon, and Trauma
[01:55:36] Be Friends With Your Fear
[01:55:51] Richie's Closing Thoughts
[01:56:30] "This Show Is an Act of Love"